When I look up the word vulnerable in the dictionary, the following definition comes up.
capable of being physically or emotionally wounded
Reading this, I immediately feel a strong resistance. Who, after all, wants to risk getting emotionally wounded? Yet over the past few years, I’ve come to understand the importance of vulnerability. Why? Because without it, I rob myself of love, beautiful experiences, and deep, meaningful connections. In this blogpost I will share some of my latest insights and a few simple tips to starting practicing vulnerability.
Why Do We Resist?
I recently watched a TED talk where the lady talked about the topic of vulnerability, and I realized I’m not alone — everyone struggles with it. The reason is simple, and it’s exactly what the definition implies: we’re afraid of being hurt. Fear of rejection, fear of being truly seen, fear of losing control—the list is endless.
Because of this fear, our minds tell us to avoid vulnerability and maintain our defenses. For example, “I’m not going to be the first to say ‘I love you,’ because what if you don’t say it back?” This thought might arise from past experiences, where being vulnerable led to pain. But who says it will happen again? No one— only you are telling yourself this ‘’might’’ happen again.
We Limit Ourselves
I heard someone share the following phrase a while ago: ‘’I can only love you when you love me back’’. That phrase hit me hard. I realized that living with such a mindset not only limits my own life but potentially the other person’s as well. I don’t want to live like that, I want to love someone with all my heart. Regardless of whether I might get hurt in the future. I can’t predict life anyway because it goes as it goes. Then I might as well pour my whole heart into something. If it does turn out well then, at least I’ve deprived myself of nothing.
And what if that person does not say back that he or she loves you? Does that say something about you as a person? Does that make you worth less all of a sudden?
I know it’s tough to embrace this mindset—it takes time. But here’s the truth: you are enough. Always.
How To Practice Vulnerability
Here are 3 simple tips you can apply in your daily life to practice vulnerability.
1. Start Small
Begin by sharing something personal with someone you trust, like a close friend or family member. It doesn’t have to be something big—just a small thought or feeling you’ve been holding back. This helps build confidence in expressing yourself openly.
2. Embrace Discomfort
Recognize that feeling uncomfortable is a natural part of being vulnerable. Instead of avoiding it, lean into the discomfort. Remind yourself that this is a necessary step toward deeper connections and personal growth.
3. Focus on the Present Moment
When you’re vulnerable, try to stay present. Avoid overthinking what might happen or how the other person might react. Concentrate on sharing your truth in that moment, trusting that whatever comes next, you can handle it.
