Hi lovely people,
Just some random thoughts that have been running through my mind lately, figured it would be nice to share them here with you.
Don’t ask too much of yourself
I don’t know about you, but everything that I do must be perfect. Whenever it is not perfect, I beat myself up in my mind. Can be the smallest things; I recently re-started doing my morning routine. Wake up, make hot water with lemon, do a 5-minute guided meditation, write something in my journal, and read 5 pages of mind candy. My mind starts to battle me INSTANTLY when I wake up; I don’t feel like meditating, I want coffee instead of hot water, blablabla. The moment I get these thoughts, I immediately start punishing myself (mentally). ”See, you’re lazy”. ”See, you can’t even keep this up”. Tiring. Very tiring. Note to self and you: do not ask too much of yourself. Just focus on the fact that you are making an effort to do things differently. You are trying to take the right actions and that is something major in itself.
Control. Everything.
I got sober by following the 12-step program, among other things. Should you have followed it yourself, you know how important it is to surrender control to your higher power. I find this difficult! Especially lately I have been trying to control things, like love, career, but especially finances. Now, of course, it is important to control your finances, otherwise things will get out of hand. I bought a car (my first own car, yay!), so that means there’s a big hole in my buffer. Immediately all kinds of frightened thoughts come up; oh my god, how am I going to pay for my children’s studies (I don’t even have kids), how am I going to buy a house, how am I going to be able to eat this month. Just seriously, take it easy. Believe that everything will be okay and have a positive mindset. Even if you do not believe in a higher power, it is often the case that the harder you try to control something – the more it goes in the direction you do not want it to go. I have often found that when I let it go, it will all work out in my favor.
