In this blog post, I want to address a common fear among those in recovery: relapse. I experienced a major relapse before achieving long-term sobriety. It was incredibly frightening, but it also taught me some of the most valuable lessons of my journey. Without this relapse, I wouldn’t be where I am today.

You never fail when you get back up.

Understanding Relapse

Relapse refers to the return to substance use or addictive behaviors after a period of abstinence. Relapse can occur at different levels, including emotional, mental, and physical, and is often triggered by various factors such as stress, environmental cues, or emotional distress. Understanding and addressing the underlying causes of relapse are essential for long-term recovery and personal growth.

To understand how relapse occurs, we need to look at the three different stages:

Emotional relapse
In the first stage, emotions and behaviors begin to shift. Although you may not be thinking about using substances or drinking, the following warning signs can occur:

• Mood swings
• Poor self-care (eating and sleeping habits)
• Not expressing emotions
• Not managing emotions
• Defensiveness
• Getting complacent with the tools learned to work on sobriety (for example: skipping morning routine, not going to meetings, not talking about feelings)

Should you realize you are in this phase, there are several things you could do. This is what we will go into later.

Mental Relapse
The second stage directly results from not addressing the warning signs that appear in stage one. This stage is often called “the war in the mind.” During this phase, cognitive resistance to relapse weakens, and the “need to escape” intensifies. It’s important to remember that occasional thoughts of using are normal in early recovery. However, the thoughts that arise during mental relapse are different—they involve seriously considering the choice to use, rather than just fleeting thoughts of using.

Physical relapse
The last stage is the actual act of using. When a person fails to acknowledge and address the symptoms of emotional and mental relapse, it can quickly escalate to physical relapse, which involves drinking alcohol or using other drugs. It is crucial to seek help immediately if you find yourself experiencing a physical relapse to break the cycle of addiction before it becomes too late.

To simplify I like to approach the stages of relapse as follows:

1. Thought – thinking about using/drinking;
2. Plan – making plans to use/drink, have reservations (this time, I will manage);
3. Action – the actual act of using/drinking.

Preventing Relapse

So now we know about the stages, let’s dive into the tools we can use.

Develop a Relapse Prevention Plan:

• Identify personal triggers and warning signs.
• Outline specific strategies to cope with cravings and high-risk situations.
• Regularly review and update your plan.

Build a Strong Support Network:

• Share share share! Talk about your feelings/thoughts with family, friends, or fellows
• Attend meetings such as AA, NA, or other support groups.

Engage in Therapy and Counseling:

• Participate in individual or group therapy sessions.
• Consider addiction-specific counseling or therapy.

Avoid High-Risk Situations:

• Stay away from places, people, and events associated with past substance use.
• Plan ahead for social situations where substances might be present.

Practice Self-Care:

• Establish a regular exercise routine.
• Maintain a balanced and healthy diet.
• Ensure adequate sleep and rest.
• Practice mindfulness and meditation.
• Engage in hobbies and activities that bring joy and relaxation.
• Use stress-management techniques such as deep breathing or yoga.

Besides using the tools mentioned, I want to emphasize the importance of honesty. It’s crucial to talk about your feelings. Sharing a problem significantly eases the burden, as discussing it helps release it from your mind. I understand it can be challenging due to feelings of shame, but it’s essential. Honesty is very important, don’t be afraid to be vulnerable.

I Relapsed… What Now?

If a relapse happens, take a deep breath and know this is not uncommon in recovery. You may feel a profound sense of shame and guilt, but the crucial step is to reach out and ask for help. It’s also important to be aware that during abstinence, tolerance for the substance decreases, which increases the risk of overdose when relapsing. It is therefore essential to reach out as soon as you can.

If you have a relapse prevention plan, go through it.

Reflect on what led to the relapse and learn from the experience. Can you identify the warning signs in hindsight? Can you pinpoint when you entered the first stage of relapse? Can you see what has been missing during your sobriety that could have caused you to relapse? What are your intentions to be sober?

Self-compassion

Forgive yourself and move forward. When a relapse occurs, it doesn’t mean you have lost. I would like you to see it as a valuable lesson to take forward with you.

As I mentioned, I had a significant relapse before achieving long-term sobriety. Reflecting on that time, I realize I wasn’t truly ready. My initial attempt at sobriety was driven by external factors rather than a personal commitment. I eventually checked myself into rehab and spent a year abroad to get my life back on track. Here I had the time to reflect.

This relapse taught me several important lessons. For the first time, I recognized that I am indeed an addict and cannot stop using once I start. The insanity of addiction became evident; I did some bizarre things during this period that I can hardly believe were my actions. Although I felt deeply ashamed, I understood that this experience was part of my recovery process.

So in this blogpost, we discussed the warning signs for relapsing, the different stages of a relapse, and tools that can be used to prevent relapsing. Please remember; that relapse is not a failure but a learning experience. 

Please share your experiences and strategies for dealing with relapse in the comments below.

Love, B.